Fellow holders,
Stonks has always been less a financial theory than a simple observation: there is a man, there is a chart, and the chart is going up.
Markets change. Cycles turn. Institutions discover expensive new words for old mistakes. Through it all, the image has endured because it reduces the entire financial system to its preferred conclusion.
We have therefore placed it onchain. $STONKS is the token of Stonks On Stonk: a satirical financial desk covering markets, the economy and the strange behaviour of people around numbers. The facts will be real. The presentation will be under management review.
Our work will be straightforward. We will publish Chairman's briefings, useful charts, market observations and memes with an unreasonable standard of corporate seriousness. We will not manufacture a roadmap to disguise the absence of a road. We will not describe posting as a protocol.
The token is speculative. The jokes are not financial advice. The Chairman's mandate is simply to observe the market, protect the meme and keep the arrow visible.
Management has completed its review.